Performing as a Teacher

Our Piano Academy recitals were this past Saturday, and they went so well! Even though recitals are a lot of work for me and the students, they are so fun. I absolutely love seeing my students perform. They often surprise me and surpass my expectations by how well they play. I was so proud of several students who overcame their fear and nervousness and played in front of an audience. I plan to do an entire blog post just on the students' performances because they did so well.

I even performed at the last recital of the day. I decided about a week ago that I wanted to play Scriabin's F-sharp minor prelude from his op. 11. I had finished memorizing it a couple of weeks ago. I wanted to be able to perform it somehow, and this seemed like a good opportunity. But then, I wasn't so sure. The memory was pretty new, and I knew I would get nervous thinking about parents at the recital who are trusting me to teach their kids. I didn't want them to think I couldn't really play if I happened to have a memory slip. And I also thought, "I can totally be done with performing if I want to. I'm not in school anymore; why make myself go through all that nervousness?" But I just really wanted to. I miss performing to a certain extent. At least, I do miss having something to work towards, and I miss giving beauty to an audience by sharing my music with them.
I was very undecided about whether or not I would actually perform. I really did not make a decision until I printed the programs the night before the recital. I finally put my name on the program and hit "print." Then I was committed. And I was mostly excited for the opportunity to perform, but I did kind of regret my decision right before I got up to play. But then, I started playing, and I loved it. I felt so grateful for the opportunity to perform and share my talent. And I was excited to show my students that even I still face my fears and perform.